July 26, 2009

Im not sure what is going on with me andmy other half. I know that today, I was having an off day. I had a head ache and I really didn’t want to do anything, but we didn’t really talk to each other though. It wouldn’t seem so bad, but this seems to be the case pretty much all the time. It seems as though we are room mates that sleep in the same bed. We don’t even have sex anymore. The last time we had sex was in march….that was 5 months ago. He used to, and when I say :used to: that means, about three or so months ago, try to get me to have sex. He would try to rub on me and spoon me and all that and I usually told him no. now, he doesn’t even attempt to try it. Its as though he doesn’t even like me sexually anymore….i don’t blame him if this is the case, cuz I wouldn’t either if I was him. Today, I was working on his laptop to fix how slow it is. I was installing a maintenance program, and avg. I got the first program working and then the avg was being really slow cuz I was just installing it from my computer over the network, so I decided to go and download it from mininova. When I opened it in abc, there was two porn movies being downloaded. That made my heart drop, and my face went numb. Then I quick closed it and acted like I didn’t see anything. He would much rather wack off than have sex with me. Like I said before, I don’t blame him. I have let myself go, and have gained twenty pounds in the last 2 years. Havin sex with me would be like having sex with a pile of bread dough….not attractive at all.