July 26, 2009

Im not sure what is going on with me andmy other half. I know that today, I was having an off day. I had a head ache and I really didn’t want to do anything, but we didn’t really talk to each other though. It wouldn’t seem so bad, but this seems to be the case pretty much all the time. It seems as though we are room mates that sleep in the same bed. We don’t even have sex anymore. The last time we had sex was in march….that was 5 months ago. He used to, and when I say :used to: that means, about three or so months ago, try to get me to have sex. He would try to rub on me and spoon me and all that and I usually told him no. now, he doesn’t even attempt to try it. Its as though he doesn’t even like me sexually anymore….i don’t blame him if this is the case, cuz I wouldn’t either if I was him. Today, I was working on his laptop to fix how slow it is. I was installing a maintenance program, and avg. I got the first program working and then the avg was being really slow cuz I was just installing it from my computer over the network, so I decided to go and download it from mininova. When I opened it in abc, there was two porn movies being downloaded. That made my heart drop, and my face went numb. Then I quick closed it and acted like I didn’t see anything. He would much rather wack off than have sex with me. Like I said before, I don’t blame him. I have let myself go, and have gained twenty pounds in the last 2 years. Havin sex with me would be like having sex with a pile of bread dough….not attractive at all.

Me and my fiance decided to go on a little road trip this weekend. I am at my parents, and he is playing his D&D with his game group. All was going pretty good...me and my older sister watched some friday the 13th killer cut movie. This isnt my type of movie. I think that there were about 10 or so gratuitous tit shots. Seriously. And Jason comes back to life in the end. Geesh. Anyways, after the movie i pooped and peed my puppies. They are chihuahua/pug mixes. Me and a couple of people from work are fostering them. There is seven total. i have two of them. When i was done with that, my phone rang. it was the central dispatch for the police department. apparently they couldnt get a hold of my boss, so they called me because there was a dog that was badly hurt and it was snapping and growling at the deputies and they wanted to know what they should do with it. I didnt understand why it was up to us. im sure they find dogs or cats all the time. Anyways, i felt really bad, because after trying to get a hold of my boss twice myself, and also feeling pressured to give an answer to the dispatcher i told her to have them put the dog to sleep.....which means shooting it in the head to a deputy. I FELT SO BAD!!!! This is not what i really wanted them to do. i wanted them to wait for me and my boss so we could pick the dog up, so we could evaluate the health and temperment. This is where the problem lay, i am two hours away and my boss wasnt answering her phone! Luckily, as i was frantically trying to call my boss, afterward, she called me and i explained it to her. i was barely coherent because i had tears welling up and almost coming out of my eyes. She called central dispatch right away after that and in the end, she ended up getting the dog and taking it to the shelter. She txted me that it is an older female dog, who is scared, has some bruising, and she thinks that the dog was deliberatley dumped off. I think what upsets me the most about this situation is that, what if my boss hadn't called me back until later or at all for that matter? it bothers me.

On a happier note, after all this had settled down, me and tasha watched The Unborn. This is a great movie. There was one part where i totally screamed and about jumped out of my skin. I wish i would have seen it in the theater.