Wednesday, November 19, 2008

i've decided that i want someone to ravage my body. i want them to make me bleed and i want them to make me cry. i want to be begging for them to stop, but they dont. i want to be in pain and i want to see blood.

Monday, November 3, 2008

I went to my parent's house for the weekend, while i was there, i wrote a little ditty about my current frustrations that involve work. So, here it is for all you people on the web....
11.1.08
I almost started crying at work today. My manager came back and told me that i need to devise a new way of doing supplies because our executive director's head was going to spin off. I told her that amber needed meds, but no one told me and i didn't find out until i looked in the med book 3-4 days after she had run out. Then I told her about running out of bleach. (i was already frazzled at this point). I then went to make shots for Reuben, but we didn't have any bordetellas. I went to tell my manager and she said, "that's the last thing that i want to hear right now. I advise you don't say it any more because then it would be three strikes against you." WHAT THE HELL!!!! IT'S NOT MY FAULT!!! I ordered the shots a month ago, when we had three boxes left. Apparently they didn't get the fax that time. I sent a fax a week or so after that, they never called us back. As i recall, my manager ended up going there to pick up the meds that we absolutely needed. She did not pick up shots. She got syringes, but no vaccines. FUCK THEM, FUCK WORK!!! IT'S A BUNCH OF BULL SHIT!! IT'S NOT EVEN FUN ANYMORE. I DON'T WANT TO GET UP IN THE MORNING. I DREAD IT. ITS GETTING TO THE POINT WHERE I (HATE)-->(yeah i said it)WORKING WITH THE ANIMALS! It's pretty bad when I would rather work with the dead one's over the live one's. When she said that, it FUCKING PISSED ME OFF!!!!

If you can't tell, work is starting to get under my skin. I think that most of my issues stem from me being a new supervisor and not really knowing how to do it. Also, It doesn't help that I am working some long hours. 87 hours on this paycheck and two checks ago it was 93. Seriously. There is no time to relax. Even when I'm at home I'm thinking about work. It is wearing me out. I'm thinking about taking some vacation time and spending a few days at my parent's house. I don't know though, i don't have many vacation hours though.